Pronouncing Names

Why is it that English people cannot pronounce Scottish names? We have been sharing this island with them since they joined us about 2000 years ago (yes -we were here first) but still they can't say 'Loch' properly. What the hell is so difficult about it? Today on the BBC news we had reports of a small earthquake in somewhere called DUMfries. In Scotland this is pronounced dumFRIES, but on the news from London its DUMfries - get the difference? There are so many examples of this. Yet if we go down to England and mention in passing Greenwich, or Gloucester, or Cheadle Hulme or countless others, we are laughed at if we don't get it right.

A foreign correspondent who happened to be Scottish, was in Iraq reporting on the war there. His counterpart from another channel, who was English, was practicing the pronunciation of Iraqi names to get it right, and asked the Scottish guy how it sounded to him. He replied "That's it perfect. Now maybe when we get home to the UK you can try 'Loch Lomond'. He didn't get the point!!

And for the record, since it is that time of year, Auld Lang Syne is pronounced auld lang ssine, not old lang zine. For Auld Lang Syne is difficult to translate into modern English, but means something like 'here's to the old days'. Robert Burns wrote it. He is almost never called Rabbie Burns in Scotland. Its either Robert or Robbie.

Incidentally , as I was spell-checking this document, the UK dictionary didn't recognise 'Dumfries' or 'Lomond'.

Are we on the same island or what?

England is not an island. It is not surrounded by sea, as it has Scotland to the north and Wales to the west. So why do so many English people think it is? I think it is caused by confusion (and a little ignorance). See, when England took over Wales they saw it as part of English territory. You can see why.. I mean the Welsh totally surrendered their sovereignty, and the English legal system was imposed on them.

But with us Scots it was different. For a start it was our Royal family who took over in England. The Stuart dynasty is Scottish. For a while it was only the Crown that was united, then the Parliaments were merged. They did not however take over our legal system, or our state religion, or our educational system. Most importantly they did not take over our attitude. It remains hostile at a national level. I should stress right away this does not apply to English people on a one to one basis. Most are fine. Its just that, as a group, they tend to take over wherever they are. And you know what? Its really wearing after a while.

Intro

Well here we go. Or here I go. This is going to be about all those annoying little things that aggregate and congregate and become one big thing. Mostly it is a plea for understanding between nations. Especially a plea for big nations to try and understand smaller ones.

Nations come in various sizes and tend to have personalities of their own. I came from a small and very ancient nation called Scotland. Most of you outside the UK are a bit confused about us. Are we part of England? Do all the men wear skirts? Are we mean and tightfisted? Do we speak funny?

The answer to all of these questions is 'no'.

If you think Braveheart is a true and accurate rendition of Scottish History, please leave, now.
If you think England is an island, please, please stay. I want to talk to you....